


The Last Cup of Coffee on the USS Hephaestus.

by mothmeal



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Gen, I make my own canon, This is just nice, friends - Freeform, the simple joy of sharing a coffee with an ai, who cares about canon compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29977809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothmeal/pseuds/mothmeal
Summary: Doug prepares to enjoy the last cup of coffee on the ship with Hera.
Relationships: Doug Eiffel & Hera
Comments: 7
Kudos: 12





	The Last Cup of Coffee on the USS Hephaestus.

“This is Officer Doug Eiffel aboard the USS Hepahastus, signing off. 

The tape recorder clicked off, and he let out a sigh.

“Well, Hera, another day of hard work.”

“I wouldn’t call it hard work.”

“Oh but you see, Hera, it's all part of my plan. I confound Doctor Evil and Commander stick up her ass with my exceptional work, and I get to enjoy the last cup of joe with my good friend Hera.”

“I’m flattered, Officer Eiffel, but you do realise that it’s about 1:15 am right now, correct?”

“Exactly! As long as I’m quiet, they won’t suspect a thing.”

“And you don’t think that after the toothpaste debacle thing they’d be suspicious?”

“The ‘brig’ doesn’t scare me, besides, I know that Minkowski is snoozing away in her quarters. Beside, I already have the last packet.”

“Eiffel-” Hera sounded considerably more worried than she had a minute ago. “You might want to…”

“Shh, we’ll get caught. Just let me appreciate this moment.”

“If you say so…”

“Instant folgers….the last real beans on this hunk of junk.”

Eiffel dumped them into his thermos, which still had hot water in it that he’d managed to snag before Hilbert’s 30 minute shower.

“Cheers, Hera.”

His first blissful sip was interrupted by a jarring pounding on the door to the comms room.

“H-hello?”

“Eiffel, open up. I stashed some of my weapons in here, and the thing stole all of my mattress knives.”

“MInkowski? Mattress knives? It’s 1 am, why are you even up?”

“No time to talk, Eiffel, that goddamn plant monster is running loose and I plan to get rid of once and for all.” Her voice was still muffled through the door.

“Are you gonna let me in?”

“Just...uhh, gimme a second.” He looked around frantically, then opened one of the panels, making sure the thermos was tightly shut before moving over to the door.

“I’m coming, I’m coming, calm down, Commander.”

“I can’t be calm when that thing is still out there.” Minkowski nearly bodychecked him as she came in, then removed a ceiling panel he hadn’t even noticed, revealing a sizeable weapons stash.

“Commander, is that even safe?” Minkowski paid him no mind, hoisting herself into the ceiling.

“Tell Hilbert that when I finish killing this thing, he’s next.”

“Will do. Have fun, Commander.”

She was already gone, and Eiffel let out a sigh.

“I pity the fool who gets onto Minkowsi’s shitlist, eh, Hera?”

“And rightly so, Officer Eiffel. Better grab that coffee before it gets cold.”

“I’d share, but…”

She laughed, but stopped, letting out the verbal equivalent of a wince as Minkowski’s swearing echoed through the vents, followed by the sound of a miniature explosion. 

“That sounded bad…” Eiffel looked worried. “You got it covered, or?”

“I can close some of the vents, make sure she doesn’t damage anything too important. Nothing more than a scratch for me.”

“Perfect.”

The last cup of coffee on the USS Hephaestus was enjoyed while watching the stars, to the faint soundtrack of an enraged commander echoing through the vents.

All in all, it was one of the best cups of coffee Eiffel had.


End file.
